This Abundant Life

This Abundant Life
"I came that they may have life and have it abundantly." - John 10:10

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

"Loving the Little Years"

I need all the help I can get on how to love my daughter and teach her about how God loves her. Our Gwendolyn is incredibly head-strong, and independent...aggressive and usually defiant. But she is also a little girl who LOVES princesses and ponies and flowers and stories that make her feel adventurous! She's the most passionate person I know, and I don't totally know what to do with that.

I am not naturally good at being imaginative...but, for Gwendolyn, it's an absolute MUST. I've even noticed how, if I get real low to the ground and make my face all interesting and talk in a hushed fashion, and explain things to her that way...she is WAY more interested in going along with what I've requested.

So, I am REALLY enjoying this short book, Loving the Little Years, by Rachel Jankovic. I love how she says, "I didn't write this book because mothering is easy for me. I wrote it because it isn't."

Take a look...
"...Imagine that then you say, "Don't do that. That is bad. Don't be a fusser. Deal with it." How did that help anyone? The child is taught that if the feeling comes over them, they have already failed. That is bad! But what m I supposed to do with it? It doens't just go away by itself. Little girls need help sorting out their emotions - not so they can wallow in them, but so they can learn to control them.
We tell our girls that the feelings are like horses - beautiful, spirited horses. But they are the riders. We tell them that God gave them this horse when they were born, and they will ride it their whole life. God also set us on a path on the top of a mountain together and told us to follow it. We can see for a long way - there are beautiful flowers, lakes, trees, and rainbows....
When our emotions act up, it is like the horse trying to jump the fence and run down into a yucky place full of spiders to get lost in the dark. A good rider knows what to do when the horse tries to bolt - you pull on the reins! Turn the horse's head! Get back on the path! We also tell our girls that God told us if we see one of them with her horse down in a mud puddle spitting at people who walk by, it is our job to haul them up, willing or unwilling, back to the path....
...First of all, the horses are not the problem. there is nothing wrong wiht the emotions...Talk to your daughters about how they might feel, and what you want to see when they do...Take a little break to say, "Hey sweetie, we are going in this store, but we aren't going to buy any toys today. If you start feeling like you want to fuss about it, what are we going to do?" Make a Plan. Use code words. Wink. Encourage. Give lots of praise when you see her overcoming little emotional temptations. .."

1 comment:

The Richardson's said...

Good post. I think little kids are insanely difficult and often think "I can't wait until they are older".

I am always in need of the reminder to enjoy the moment and find happiness in the present.

Thanks for sharing!!