This weekend, my little Gwendolyn is 10 weeks old. But, instead of celebrating, I thought it would be more fun if I spent some time feeling poorly about myself. I mean, there is so much material to work with...I can't fit into my clothes, I'm not eating the things that make me feel energized and encouraged and, every time I think about going out for a walk, I sit down on the couch and watch HGTV instead.
But, even in my misery and self pity, the Lord chooses to love me. We actually got the opportunity to get last-minute tickets to the Big UofA/ASU game. I was so excited! If there was ever a time that I needed to feel the breeze of a sweet Tucson evening; it was now.
I packed everything I could think of for any possible baby catastrophe. I was prepared for everything: diaper blow-out, cold air, sleepy baby, hungry baby, etc. But, I didn't care. I just wanted to feel a sense of normalcy. I wanted to GO TO A FOOTBALL GAME!!!
And we did just that...we walked around, we ate free BBQ, and I got to enjoy watching my husband cart around his daughter and introduce her to people he knew. It was the kind of stuff I imagined when I wondered what it would be like to have a baby. It was so much fun for me!
Once we got into the stadium, I wound up nursing Gwen in the girl's bathroom for a half hour (standing up). By the time we had gotten to our seats, I had realized that the one contingency that never crossed my mind was the volume of the crowd. My little baby was very scared and I was certain we were damaging her little ear drums. I spent about 10 minutes in the bleachers and then Gwendolyn and I walked back to our $10 parking spot, and went home. But, I had a smile on my face the whole way there.
It wasn't the smoothest evening, and things definitely didn't end up as I expected...but it may have been the first day that I realized I felt honored to be caring for my baby. I felt it was my privilege to be the one nursing her in the bathroom and taking her home because the environment was too cruel for her. I was so thankful for the experience and I look forward to many more like it.