This letter, I just LOVE. I Love CARA, for being real...for being poetic while she's being real...I love her for being tired, like me.
The babies haven’t been sleeping. They come, looking for comfort between our sheets, our full size sheets. As the clock ticks through the wee night hours and the chimes ring downstairs, I try to roll over on my stomach and pull the covers that have been kicked off of both the baby and me just a little bit farther over onto my stomach so I’m not really really cold. And then, in between kicks to the head, I realize the sunrays have begun to filter in through the wooden blinds and I lay there, cold…eyes shut…mind wide open…heart seething frustration and understanding at the same time.
I. Am. So. Tired.
Tonight at a stoplight, my eyes glazed over and all the cars turned into small fuzzy golden orbs of light. The orbs moved closer and my head drifted back to watch the light show progress on past me, slowly, easily.
I so want to let life just pass by. To glaze over the intentions and lean back, eyes half closed, letting the exhaustion win. It could envelope my mind and my heart. I could slowly lose the wild dreams. Those wild and crazy longings to be more. Different. Purposeful.
I could close…my…eyes
But then, I know I would miss it. The wild. The longing. I would hunger for the could-have-been and the yesterdays. And I never want to look back like that.
Only look ahead. Eyes wide and seeing. Thoughtful and Dreaming.
Tonight I will sleep. Because it is necessary…
Start by doing what’s necessary;
Next do what’s possible;
And suddenly you are doing the impossible
~St. Francis of Assisi
But tomorrow, tomorrow I wake early, eyes open, ready to let the wild heart lead.
One step at a time.