So, today was a hard and, basically, terrible day of Christmas shopping. Gwendolyn was exhausted and upset the whole day. She screamed constantly...only intensifying my guilt over schlepping her around all day. By the time we were on our way home she had reached all new levels of delirium. I could see her bright red face from the baby mirror in the back. I had to pull the car over a couple of times to breath on her so that she could catch her breath from the shrieking, life-stealing screams. We were still 15minutes away from home and had not reached the interstate, yet, when I finally pulled into a sparsely attended parking lot. I knew that feeding her would calm her down and hoped that it would calm her for the rest of the ride home.
As predicted, after a few minutes of nursing, she passed out. I transferred her to her seat and managed to get her buckled without waking the little beast. There I sat, in the back seat of the car, looking at my sleeping, exhausted baby realizing my predicament.
I had to pee soooooooo bad. I knew I wasn't going to make it home. I couldn't bear to take her out of the car and risk another screaming episode. There is just so much a woman can handle...you know? And, I hear somewhere that it's not a good idea to leave a baby in the car (just kidding!). So, I grabbed my lovely Starbucks to-go coffee mug from the front console, pulled down my pants, and peed in it! It was great. I didn't even get anything on the seat!
I hope this story has brightened your day and I hope that the stress of this beautiful, yet frantic, season is lessened by it.
As predicted, after a few minutes of nursing, she passed out. I transferred her to her seat and managed to get her buckled without waking the little beast. There I sat, in the back seat of the car, looking at my sleeping, exhausted baby realizing my predicament.
I had to pee soooooooo bad. I knew I wasn't going to make it home. I couldn't bear to take her out of the car and risk another screaming episode. There is just so much a woman can handle...you know? And, I hear somewhere that it's not a good idea to leave a baby in the car (just kidding!). So, I grabbed my lovely Starbucks to-go coffee mug from the front console, pulled down my pants, and peed in it! It was great. I didn't even get anything on the seat!
I hope this story has brightened your day and I hope that the stress of this beautiful, yet frantic, season is lessened by it.
6 comments:
I am A) Laughing so hard I could pee my own pants! and B) Incredibly impressed!
A moms got to do what a moms got to do right? That is so great! Not the screaming hysteria part, but the peeing thing just makes me smile. You are wonder-woman Jenn!!
Thanks for the laugh! I can so picture you peeing in your car. You are too funny! Hope things are great in Tucson. Miss you!
YOU. sweet Jen....are my HERO!! Remind me to tell you the "rolling into a ravine in the pitch dark with my pants around my ankles and a burned bummy" story!
Not surprised at all! Love you!
been there! i actually kept toilet paper in my car for quite some time for those exact situations! i even had henry pee in an empty sippy cup once when we were stuck on the highway in nashville. too funny!!
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