I laugh at myself and my blog posts about struggling through the days with two little ones. I mean, I have many friends with more than two kids and, even my own mother has SEVEN.
I find it interesting that I am so confused by the "difficulty" of two...or one, when I had one. I wonder why I'm so shocked that the little precious-es require lots of time, attention, and love. I mean, that's exactly what I wanted to give to my children before I had them...and now it takes concentration to remember how much I do enjoy them...it takes a real intentional attitude toward mothering. If I'm not being intentional, the whole "caring for" isn't actually that fun.
I think that each mother has her own set of issues that keeps her from thoroughly enjoying her children for the short time that she gets to care for them. Mine have to do with wanting to do (or finish) projects, learn new recipes and bargain-shop on line...all of which are totally silly, but not, ultimately wrong. They are only wrong when they keep me from enjoying this beautiful, incredible gift from God: being able to stay at home with my children, care for my family's needs and be an example of the PEACE that is found in a life with Jesus.
When I am discouraged by how far I have to come in this process, I am reminded that "He who began a good work in me will be sure to finish it."
I have been trying to set aside "ideals" for actual "function." Below is a picture of my new living room set up. The layout defies about 100 cardinal decorating rules and is definitely something I would steer others away from.
There are multiple focal points. The seating area is too spread out. The rug is WAY to small. Etc...Etc... But, now Gwen can push her baby stroller through the house at the same time that Gus is laying on his blanket. I can nurse the baby while Gwendolyn dances, without any barriers between us. So, I'm trading form for function and working on being okay with it!
Such problems I have: a fridge that's too full...a home with too many beautiful things to move around : ).